How to organise a team building event that is not a punishment for the team and they won’t end up resenting the leader or the company?

Few things can divide a team as quickly as a poorly timed, badly aimed, or poorly designed team building.

The end of the year is team building season in many organisations: hot chocolate gatherings, cooking together, volunteering, celebrations, or even strategic workshops. Everyone has their own.

And of course, a lot of leaders have a favourite idea of what the perfect team-building looks like. Often, the leader's idea is unquestionable.
And then reality steps in. More and more leaders tell me: the people don't want to go.
- they do not like the idea what the leader has in mind,
- they are simply too tired to go,
- the timing is bad, the event is too early, too late - "I won't even be hungry'",
- they do not want to do it at the weekend (of course),

1️⃣This is not a problem. This is information - valuable insight into where the team is, what they long for, and what they have no energy for.
2️⃣It is important for leaders to let go of the internal picture of the "ideal team building" they have in mind.

A good team-building should not be forced. It should be something the team's real needs bring into life. A framework that allows choice naturally increases psychological safety, collaboration and engagement.

🎁 Solution-focused question for organisations

❓ How can we create frameworks where teams can decide for themselves what type of team-building best supports their wellbeing, functioning and the organisation's goals right now, including the option to say "not now"?

🎁 Solution-focused questions for leaders

Discuss it with your team, bring them into the decision. Involvement itself strengthens psychological safety and team cohesion.

❓ Where is the team right now in terms of energy?
Out of breath? Tense? Or maybe craving a shared experience?
❓ What would work BEST right now?
A light, easy gathering? A deeper conversation? A structured workshop? A relaxed half-day? Creating something together? Games? Outdoor activity?
❓ What is something they definitely do not want?
This is just as important as mapping the wishes.
❓ What is the real purpose?
Recharge? Connection? Celebration? Strategic focus? Releasing tension?
❓ What would serve this purpose in a way that allows the team to grow rather than drain?

A team-building event is not "just another programme". If it goes well, the team exhales. If it goes badly, it becomes yet another burden, and achieves the opposite of what it was created for.