A Leader’s Life Story And Its Impact On Work and Leadership
💼We not only bring our professional competencies, goals and ambitions to the workplace day after day. We also bring our family background, socialisation and value system. Parental patterns, the impacts we have had experienced throughout our life and the coping mechanisms developed in response to them. Our transgenerational heritage as well.
All of our life story so far works in the background – in visible and less visible ways. It influences how we make decisions, what we consider acceptable, how we react under pressure, what activates us and what makes us shut down. It seeps into everyday functioning, people management, conflict handling and the relationship to trust.
There are patterns and blockages that can only be brought to the surface through conscious work, and only then do they become manageable. This is why, in my individual development and support work with leaders, talking about their life path often appears as well in a storytelling framework.
The leaders share as much as they want. The starting point is simple: from birth onwards, we review the events they consider important, experienced as positive or negative. The essence is not the list itself, but the conversation that unfolds from it: recognising recurring patterns, lessons, resources, strengths and competencies.
When these are brought to a conscious level and we look at how they influence the current role and way of operating, a huge step forward becomes possible in achieving goals.
🎁 Solution-focused question and tips for organisations
❓ How can we support our leaders in better understanding the deeper drivers of their own functioning, and through this have a more conscious and healthy impact on their teams and the organisation?
💡 Tips
1. Do not only develop skills, but provide space and opportunity for safe self-awareness work with the support of a coach, psychologist or other professional.
2. Acknowledge that a leader is not a "tabula rasa", but arrives with a full life story.
3. Support longer-term, deeper development processes – not only quick interventions.
4. Create a culture where self-reflection is not a weakness, but a leadership competence. Make regular leadership forums for this. Let it be part of leadership work and practice.
5. Provide the time and legitimacy for leaders not only to perform, but also to learn about themselves.
6. Integrate self-awareness work into leadership pipeline programmes and senior leadership development as well.
🎁 Solution-focused question for leaders
❓ Which past experiences, patterns and coping mechanisms still influence my functioning today, and which ones help or hinder me in becoming the leader I want to be?
💡 Exercise for leaders:
- Reflect on the key turning points in your life: what did you learn from them about yourself, the world and other people?
- Observe in which situations strong emotional reactions are activated – which "buttons" do these situations press in you?
- Ask yourself: is this about the present moment, or is it an emotional reaction to an old experience or pattern?
- Identify coping mechanisms that helped you in the past but limit you today.
❗ Do not work on these alone. Seek the appropriate level of professional support (a coach, psychologist, or other helping professional ) where these patterns can be explored safely, without judgement.